


Pina Colada Song (Johnlock Version)

by DaisyFairy, Kayjaykayme



Series: Songfics [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 17:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13768680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayjaykayme/pseuds/Kayjaykayme
Summary: A Johnlock version of Escape (the Pina Colada song).





	Pina Colada Song (Johnlock Version)

**Author's Note:**

> My co-author Kayjaykayme posted the chorus of this on [Tumblr](http://kayjaykayme.tumblr.com/post/171035016387/wandering-around-today-humming-the-pina-colada) and I just couldn't leave it alone. I just had to write the rest of the song.
> 
> If you dont know this song go and check out the link to it Chriscalledmesweetie has posted in her comment at the end.

I was tired of the pining, it’d gone on too long 

But he would never love me, cos my gender was wrong 

So while John lay there sleeping, I loaded Grindr instead 

And in the personal profiles, there was this letter I read 

 

"If you like penis a lotta, and have a big giant brain

If you like ex army doctors, who really don’t need their cane

If you need a small man in a jumper, who carries ‘round a big gun 

I’m the partner you longed for, just text me and I’ll come" 

 

I didn´t think about John then, I know that sounds kind of mean 

But me and my blogger, the waiting was killing me 

So I paid my subscription, replied to the ad 

And though I don’t do romance, I thought it wasn´t half bad 

 

"Yes, I like penis a lotta, and I have a big giant brain 

I´m not much into normal, most people think I’m insane 

I´ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and we’ll have our first date 

At a place called Angelo’s, I hardly can wait.“ 

 

So I sat there with high hopes, then he walked in the place 

I knew his smile in an instant, I’d know him from just his shoelace 

It was my own lovely blogger, and he said, “I knew it was you" 

And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew" 

 

"That you liked penis a lotta, and my big giant brain 

If you can truly love me, then let’s try this again 

If you can take off your jumper, and I will wear the hat 

We’ll make love for hours, come with me, to our flat" 

 

"If you like penis a lotta, and have a big giant brain 

If you like ex army doctors, who really don’t need their cane 

If you need a small man in a jumper, who carries round a big gun 

I’m the partner you longed for, just text me and I’ll come”

**Author's Note:**

> For a version of this from John's point of view check out [Escape (The Bit of Danger Song)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270406) by Meredelicious.


End file.
